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 (212) 870-3400
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION
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Anonymity Part Two
Yesterday we talked about the word
Anonymity as it relates to the 11th Tradition. Today I would like
to look at another aspect of the word. The word Anonymous. What
does Webster's say that Anonymous means?
1: not named or identified < They wish
to remain anonymous>
2: of unknown authorship or origin <an
anonymous tip>
3: lacking individuality, distinction,
or recongnizability <the anonymous faces in a crowd>
Today I wish to express my views on the
breaking of ones personal anonymity by another. Those of us who
are active in Twelve Step fellowships know all to well the
importance of honoring a persons anonymity. Though sometimes we
may fall short we do our very best not to disclose what another
person has said in a meeting or even that they were in the meeting
at all. However when this does happen there is always the
potential for distrust and fear to develop within the group and
certainly within the heart of the person whose anonymity has been
broken.
We spend a great deal of effort and time
to build a group and a basis for trust in that group. We want to
make it a safe place for others to share and to be themselves with
out fear of being revealed to anyone else but other group members
that were present, but...... unfortunately not everyone that
comers into a group setting has the slightest clue what honoring
anonymity means. --And therefore sometimes anonymity gets broken.
Whether it be from inexperience and ignorance or just plain
malicious intent, the results is always the same. Someone gets
hurt.
So how do we deal with this issue? One
way is to educate by book studies and by teaching the newcomer the
valuable tool of anonymity. To lovingly guide them through the
positive aspects of anonymity. and also what happens when ones
anonymity is broken. To expect a newcomer to understand the
aspects of anonymity and all it's virtues is not realistic. --but
what about those of us who have been around awhile? You would
think that we would value another's anonymity as we would wish
ours to be valued. But that's not always the case, and that's
unfortunate. It is not objectionable to pull that person aside
after a meeting and lovingly correct and educate them on the
groups practice of anonymity. In fact it is encouraged. The one
thing we must make sure of if we are to correct anyone on any
aspect of the program is that our side of the street is clean
first, otherwise our creditability is not respected and the person
will not give us the time of day, nor should they. Sometimes it
is good to have a well respected old-timer talk to that person and
leave such things to those who are more experienced.
Although often difficult to do, we
should never spread our pain of broken anonymity around to others.
Yes, we need to tell someone of our dilemma, and that's OK, but to
let it go any further only gives growth to more disharmony and
does no one any good. It is a fact that over 65% of the members
of 12 Step fellowships go with out Sponsors. This is not because
of the lack of qualified people like one might assume, but because
we just don't want that kind of accountability. Listen folks, we
will all get our anonymity broken now and then, and when we do we
need a Sponsor to fall back on to guide us through the Forth Step
and to be our sounding board. if we don't have a Sponsor we are
in danger of using others (many others) as that sounding board, or
even using a meeting as that sounding board, and when that happens
we are right back to where we started.
So, if you have been around a while and
your anonymity has been broken, guess what? ...... Now you get to
grow even more. If you are a newcomer and this happens to you.
Don't keep your pain inside but be careful who you share it with.
Find someone you see something in that you admire and ask them if
you can discuss the problem. If they are willing to work through
it with you without bringing others into it, guess what? you will
have grown in more ways than you can imagine. --And perhaps they
may even become your first Sponsor.
In closing. People will always make
offenses one to another. People will always disrespect each other
as well as respect each other. This is the way of a man the Bible
says. The best thing we can do to be part of the solution is to
keep a watchful eye on our tongue and an open ear to the needs of
others. If we will ask God to help us do that we will be doing
the best we can.
Blessings to You!
Monty "man"
I will spend some quantity time with God asking for help to be a
better person in regards to respecting other people's privacy.
If I am good at keeping other folks anonymity I will ask God to help
keep me humble so I will continue to respect personal anonymity as I
have been doing so far. I will remind myself of the importance of
unity.
© Recovery Times. All rights reserved. Recovery Times has but one purpose and goal, and that is to carry the message of 12-Step Recovery -- as written and practiced in its founding organization's (AA's) unaltered 12 Steps, 12 Traditions, and 12 Concepts for World Service, but not limited to only AA-sanctioned material (such as The Holy Bible, The Koran, The Upanishads, etc.). Recovery Times is not affiliated nor approved with or by any 12 Step organizations. Recovery Times publishes only each author's opinions or positions on all matters, and doesn't necessarily agree or disagree with anyone on anything. Our Principles and Protocols are expressed beautifully in the Prayer of St. Francis (p.99, 12-Steps and 12-Traditions). Site best viewed at 1024 x 768 with Internet Explorer
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