A Time to Leave

(Mistreated In Recovery)

A Time to Leave

A personal view regarding un-healthy meetings.

 Last night I sat through the first half of a meeting, made up of people who, like me, are doing our best to stay drug free, grow in maturity and become productive members of society.

Well, at least that's what the meeting is supposed to be about.

For some time now I have been staying away from this meeting because of the determination of some of those in attendance to blast God, use extremely foul language, rule and over and preach the Traditions, and try and control the flow of the meeting. These folks all say "This is not a religious program", however, everything they hate about religion, they have become. They have become the Pharisees of the program. They flash their Tradition badges like it was the tablets of the 10 commandments. Bashing everyone over the head while quoting Traditions out of context.

Last night I went back because I really needed a meeting, I needed support and encouragement from fellow addicts. What I got instead was a bunch of finger pointing, and NA Police. A very un-healthy meeting.

Now, this has been brought on by a select few, but they are extremely controlling and intimidating to many. In the last three months I have watched this group go to hell in a hand basket, and have wondered if I can really make a difference by being there.

My sponsor used to say.... It's never OK to walk out of a meeting and He's right.

Yep, you heard me. He is right.

But when does a meeting stop being a meeting and become a un-healthy gathering for un-godly, vicious behavior? Well when your in that kind of a setting you will know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. And I was.

O' BUT PRINCIPLES BEFORE PERSONALITIES, we say. Yep, I agree, and the principle here is the principle of Taking care of ones self and STAY AWAY FROM UN-HEALTHY PLACES.

So when does it become OK to leave? When the gathering has become so un-healthy that the meetings original purpose, (in this case recovery) is no longer the focus. That is where I draw the line.

Some of the folks there might have appeared to be getting something out of the meeting, and they were indeed. They were getting attacked by a vicious spirit of destruction that seeks to tear down people instead of building them up.

The book of Proverbs says.... "A WORD OF PROFANITY SPOKEN, CRUSHES THE HEART OF THE LISTENER" Even if the other members didn't recognize it, they were being crushed, and that is not what they came there for.

Yes, we are going to experience some of these issues now and then, but for this to be an ongoing event, well that's not recovery and it sure isn't a meeting any longer. Therefore it is time to leave.

"Why not stay and fight for your chair?" we say. Well I suppose I could, but where would that get me? At this time in my recovery and with the stress factor of my bipolar disorder, It would really be an un-healthy thing for me to stay and duke it out. I will speak my mind when it is the time to do so, but even then it will have to be in love and compassion for others.

Folks, it doesn't matter what kind of fellowship it is, Church, NA, AA, CA, AAA,

BA,(ha ha ha) Boy Scouts, The Elks Club, etc. If it's focus is not of a Godly and positive nature, if the leadership is not doing their best to be responsible, caring and encouraging, well then.........It's time for this guy to move on. And yes, there are fellowships of all kinds that have these issues.

Have you been wondering if it's time to move on from an un-healthy gathering?

Now, I am not suggesting that just because you feel uncomfortable being in a setting, that you should leave it. There are many times when we are right where we are supposed to be, and we need to stick it out. But in the case of ...out and out attitudes of hate and destruction in the name of something good, well, perhaps it would be best to leave.

How do I know when it's the right time? Prayer, seek Godly council and most of all, listen to the voice of God. Oh' and by the way, if we are listening to any other voice other than the voice of God, well, no wonder we can't see God's will, we are not seeking the God who is God.  If you think I'm nuts, ask yourself this question..... "WHEN IT COMES TO KNOWING MY HIGHER POWERS WILL IN MY LIFE, CAN I SAY THAT I KNOW IT 100% OF THE TIME?"

Is staying in that un-healthy place bringing glory to God, are you able to rise above it, or does it deeply affect your effectiveness for God in a negative manner.

Sometimes in order to "rise above it" we must take a long stand back from it, and that could mean leaving for a while, or for good.

I will be the first to admit that sometimes God calls us to stay, but if He is calling you to leave, then leave. As long as you stay in open communication with God, you will know if it is right for you to leave or stay.

It is not a matter of doing what is right for you, but instead, it is a matter of doing what's right for God.

So, It's true, I really am not so different from you, I have times of hurt, and sorrow, times when I get angry and ticked off, just like you. And I have times when I feel it is OK to let my readers know when I hurt. This moving on process has hurt, and it has brought some sadness to my heart, but I know it is what I must do to stay healthy, and the only way I am going to be able to continue to glorify God is to stay out of un-healthy places. If I don't, then I might as well be back at the bar, the dope house, or the street. Un-healthy is Un-healthy regardless of the label you put on it, and the table you sit at.

The place I have chosen to leave is just one gathering out of many. There are many more of it's kind with a healthy focus, and that's where you will find me.

Hang out in healthy places and be good.

Monty-man