It is interesting that as much as we need it we have an equally hard time giving affirmation to others. It could be we are afraid that it will sound like flattery. Maybe it is because we are so self absorbed we don't notice good things in people. Or perhaps we consider it a sign of weakness to affirm others. And just maybe our capacity to affirm others is inhibited by our inability to appreciate ourselves.

I find it hard to answer the simple question, "What are three things about yourself you like?" Now it is very easy to list ten or twenty things I don't like about myself. But to verbalize something positive about me either sounds like arrogance or self-deception. Someone could come along and attack my self assessment.

My Mom always reminded me to not get a "big head" over my accomplishments. I've taken that lesson to heart and "helped" a lot of other people to avoid pride by my failure to affirm them in a meaningful and appropriate way. Have you too?

So how can we become more affirming without falling prey to the temptation to pride?

We can start by recognizing what our Creator God has given to us as a gift.

I am precious in God's eyes. I am created for positive relationships. I am worthwhile enough that Jesus would come to die to restore our broken friendship. I can choose to live as a valuable person by God's grace.

I am capable of offering love and acceptance to other people without having to demean or devalue myself. I can have compassion on others, celebrate others and compliment others without losing my integrity or inner strength.

Jesus said, "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command." [John 15:13-14]
 

What greater affirmation can we have that God would call us His friends? Can we extend that sense of affirmation to others?