HI,

My name is Symantha, I'm a recovering meth addict, clean for 8 months and
holding strong.

My journey with meth started in may of 2003, that was
the month I met the love of my life, Jonathan. Not knowing when I met
him that he was a huge meth addict and did it any way he could get it.

At the time I had never touched meth in my life and it was all so new
and interesting the first time I did it. I loved the conversations, the
long hours of "love", the parties and the people I met. That kind of life
went on for about 1 month, when everything took a drastic turn. Jonathan
and I started not only smoking meth but needles came into the picture.

After my first bump of meth I was hooked. That was the only way I
would do it because it was a better high. It all turned into a new way of
life and for everyday 4 or 5 times a day doing about 30, 35 units of dope in
each hit. Soon after, Jonathan and I started selling meth and became one
of the biggest dealers in our town which consists of 100,000 people.
But as always reality soon became an issue. I was caught and arrested
with 3 grams of meth, a meth pipe, and 1 pound of weed. Some how by the
good graces of God I somehow got out of my charges and continued on
with that course of life until the day I found out I was pregnant.

I immediately stopped dope...up until my 7th month of pregnancy. Jonathan
and I had agreed that we would both quit cold turkey because of the baby
and that wasn't a life we wanted for our child. But behind my back in
silence Jonathan was doing it at work and at home right under my nose, but
he knew he couldn't keep it from me for long.

One day I walked in on him smoking it in our bathroom (I was 7 months pregnant)
and could not refuse the temptation. I started doing it every Friday after knowing it
could potentially hurt my baby...but that was the risk I was willing to take
to get the high. Our daughter was born 7 weeks later. She was born a
normal healthy child and is still normal to this day, and i thank Jesus
everyday for that. Soon after she was born the usual temptation came
back into my life, no matter how much I hated it or wanted to stop I
couldn't.

Johnny's work kept him around it all day every day and he
would always bring some home or come home messed up on it, there for
making me want it. so the addiction lasted up to last year when I got
fed up with the problems it caused and got tired of being a junkie.
I broke up with Jonathan and quit cold turkey. My withdrawals were bad
I didn't get any sleep for 2 weeks straight, only to cause every time I
would lay down to sleep I would start to think about it and I would
toss and turn all night long. My veins would just start hurting out of
the blue and my arm would go numb and my back would hurt so bad it felt
like it was breaking. I would get sick to my stomach and puke for no
reason, but after the storm the sky usually clears...and it did.

I got over the rough patch and have been clean for 8 months. Jonathan on
the other hand was a harder case. Shortly after we had broken up he
landed him self back in jail. This being his 4th time he was in jail
for a month and a half and went through withdrawals in jail. He called
me one day from jail out of nowhere, and we started talking. He gave me
the same old story that when he gets out he's going to stay clean and be
a good dad and keep away from it, I believed him. I believed him so much
that I went down to the bank and got a loan for 1500.00 so I could get
him out of jail.

The very first day he was out he started up again. See
the deal was that at his job 4 drug dealers worked with him and pushed
it in his face.. hence the work pusher man...so he was never able to
actually quit. He was living with his mother and a drug addict, but
the line got drawn when I found a bag in his room and opened it up to
see a needle, a glass pipe, baggies with crystals in them and straws. I
went directly to his mother and commenced to tell her the whole story
that she had no clue about. We both confronted him with this problem
and found a reasonable solution, get him away from that job, and we
did.

The next day my brother called me with an offer (him being a ex-
junkie too) he had secured himself a great job with a water well-
drilling company and they needed and extra hand, So the gift was handed
to us from a giving person. Jonathan took the job and has been clean
from dope for 3 months, I got suspicious on day and had him take a
drug test and to my surprise it came out 100%clean. Our lives are great
today and we don't fight any more. We got to church every Sunday and not to
mention we have both been saved and accepted Jesus Christ into our
hearts.

We enjoy spending time with our daughter and leading a happy
and fulfilling life. It is nice to wake up every morning knowing that
we will be able to pay the rent and feed our daughter and ourselves
and know that our money and our time is going to bigger and better
things. I still think back every other day on how things were and
I'm sure I will for the rest of my life, but the difference now is that
I have the love and support to let it be, and stay out of the past.

Symantha