It’s true watching from the sidelines how obvious the problem is.  But reality is different when the cloud cover of chaos is in place.  The cloud cover of chaos is so confusing and it drives the person to keep on with the behavior they have become comfortable with.  The drug they are using gets them tangled in all three areas of their life.  Drugs when used cover a persons emotional, mental and spiritual self.  Drugs do it fast and they do it in such a way that it distorts the persons perception of reality. 

 Reality disappears while they are caught in the grips of using drugs, they can no longer see things as they are.  They only see what is brought to them by the drug induced world they are living in.  So many times we see someone who is only slightly drunk and they believe they are fine.  How many of us have tried to intercede on someone when they are under the influence of something and it’s obvious they are gone but that person doesn’t believe it.  Even the next day they argue over the fact of just how fine they were.  It’s so frustrating trying to bring reality to them even when they are functioning.

 Drugs and the distortions they bring are impressive.  The person can have any feeling they don’t want to feel, turned around fast by using something.  Because of the distortions drugs cause, the person learns the concept of not feeling.  They learn to replace real feelings they are experiencing with the feelings drugs can bring them.  If they are feeling a negative feeling for a period of time that feeling is gone, quickly replaced by a feeling of power.  Drugs give the person a sense of power when they are feeling powerless.  If the person doesn’t like the colors of the sunset they take a drug and suddenly they have a Technicolor sunset to watch.  

 They can go from who they believe they are, reach into their pocket pull out some drug and BAM turn themselves into Superman.  Many of us have watched people sit at bar stools and pull a false story out of the sky.  Some have heard family members totally lie when the truth is right in front of them.  The person wants to be someone else so bad they fall into the trap of believing that drinking alcohol or taking drugs will give them that. 

 “Who wouldn’t want that feeling?” they yell.  So many people get caught in the cloud of chaos.  They need to feel they have some power over who they are.  The way they see themselves is skewed in such a way that they don’t have a way to accurately see themselves. 
 The people in their lives see a person they love totally who has all the potential in the world, and all the user sees is someone who has gross inadequacies.  They see themselves as someone with large holes in themselves.  The constant in their life is those holes and their quest to fill them with anything.  They use drugs, and those feelings leave them alone for a period of time.

 If you were to ask them any question about the drugs and the dangers they would be able to give text book straight answers.  But knowing what they know, they will turn around and do the drugs anyway. 

 Typical discussion about this would sound like this.  “Are drugs bad?” 
 “Yes.”
 “Why then do you do drugs?”
 “I don’t know.  They’re fun.  My friends do them and I like being with my friends.”

 They know the problems inherent to using drugs, they know the dangers and they will use them anyway to have the relief drugs give them.  In their minds they are the not the person who is at risk.  They have special passes that will enable them to walk with impunity through the mine field of drugs. 

 The cry they hear in their heads is loud and that is, “No one understands me.  No one see’s how I feel.  Leave me alone.  I’ll be okay.  I’m not that bad.”
 There’s a lot more but that is the basic idea behind everyone that is trapped in the cloud of chaos.  They believe they are unique, they believe they are special, they will make it through and they will be fine.  They are quick to point out just how fine they are and just how bad you are.  They become incapable of looking at themselves. 

 The first thing to leave them no matter who they are is their ability to look at themselves and see the truth.  They might have a glimpse of reality once in a while but it’s only a glimpse and that glimpse is fleeting.  It doesn’t matter what profession they have.  It doesn’t matter how old they are, very young, mid- life or old.  Their ability to see themselves and make accurate judgments on how they are doing disappears. 

 With drinking or drugs numbing down the parts of their brains that give them perception it’s no wonder they can’t see themselves.  Their ability to see situations, and make accurate interpretations of a situation goes away.  Everyone has stories about faupas they’ve made.  Some are funny while others are tragic. 

 Many people who are struggling with people who are trapped, become overwhelmed by the feelings that are laying around.  Family or friends become overwhelmed by those feelings and they become entrapped in that cloud of chaos just like the person who is trapped in drugs.  No one makes it out of that cloud untouched.   

 It becomes a dangerous and volatile situation.  It’s a situation ripe for problems.  Drugs love that situation.  As long as the fighting keeps going the merry-go-round keeps spinning, gaining momentum.  As long as that merry-go-round keeps spinning nothing good can happen.  Imagine that wheel spinning for a moment.  Imagine how much energy there is and how easy it would be to become sick on that wheel.   

 It takes someone with enough willingness to say “STOP!  Please stop so we can keep this from continuing.”  That person is the one that is going to be looked at as the strange one.  They suddenly become the little boy yelling up at the Emperor on his horse.  “You’re NAKED!”  That’s the pressure that comes to bear on them.  The wheel needs to run out of energy before it can stop spinning.  Imagine again just what would happen if you were on that wheel and suddenly it stopped.  It would really hurt wouldn’t it?   

 The person who is tired of doing what it takes to keep the whole thing going is really brave.  The amount of energy that needs to be exerted on a daily basis to keep a serious merry-go-round going is scary.  The amount of energy that needs to be used daily just accepting unacceptable behavior is scary.  It’s no small wonder someone finally gets tired.  The sad fact is usually they get more attention because of what they are doing, and decide to go sit at the center of the wheel where the spinning is less and hope no one sees them. 

 So many people spend their day mad, frustrated, sad or terrified of what is going to happen next.  A dad I knew who had never smoked anything in his life was allowing his young son to smoke marijuana and cigarettes in his home just so he wouldn’t have to fight each day with his son.  “I said okay because I was tired of fighting him each day not to smoke.  I broke down and started letting him smoke cigarettes in the house first.  A month later it was cigarettes and marijuana.  But marijuana isn’t that bad.  At least he doesn’t have a bunch of piercing and a Mohawk.  I couldn’t stand that.” 

 Picking battles is important as long as it’s the right battle.  We don’t care how someone looks, what they wear, how they talk or even what they are listening to.  What we care about is, what they are putting into their bodies.  If they are using drugs including alcohol that needs to stop.  Hair will grow.  Holes will heal.  Clothing styles change.  Music styles change.  Drugs and the impact they have on the persons psyche; that is forever. 

 People start using for fun.  They do it on a lark.  It’s a spontaneous decision.  It’s a rare person that wakes up and makes the decision that sometime that day they will find a bottle or a drug and use it.  The person starts using drugs for fun or because of some form of peer pressure.  They keep using once in awhile because of some kick they are getting by using.  They cross over into using too often and more because of a sense of lacking.  They have low self esteem problems or worse and this drives them deeper into the cloud of chaos.  The people around them go up into the cloud with them and now everyone needs help.

 Most people get confused over the whole addiction thing and make some serious mistakes with that.  That’s why we call it a cloud of chaos and don’t really go into the definition of  addiction.  Alcoholism is one thing and that is a proven disease.  Addiction is a disease and it’s something that’s terrible.  But not every person who is young is addicted and not all of them need to stay stopped forever.  They do need to stay stopped for a long period of time and not go back to using drugs again.  That doesn’t mean they can’t drink when they become old enough to legally drink though. 

 
 Alcoholics are born and they have the genetic predisposition to alcoholism.  Drug addicts happen and that is the problem.  Drugs are addictive and anyone who uses them long enough will become addicted to a drug.  The only way to stop an addiction is to not use ever again.  No matter how much someone drinks, it will not turn someone who doesn’t have the genetic make up into an alcoholic.  They have to be born with it or it wont happen.

 Just helping the person and then sending them back into the same situation is an error.  Not helping the whole family change their beliefs about what was really going on is an error.  Not showing everyone that the whole person needs to be worked on is an error.  The problem works on the person’s body, mind and spirit.  All three of those areas need to be worked on to keep the person away from making the decision to go back to what worked before. 

 If a better option isn’t presented than to the user that person is going to pick up what they perceived as having worked before.  That person needs to have the “holes” in them filled with something positive or the same option will come right back to hook them.  Everyone in the last ten plus years has been through the D.A.R.E. program.  They all got to listen to the D.A.R.E .instructor tell them the horrors of drugs.  They all got to make their presentation to their classmates.  They all got to hear what would happen if they did drugs.  Most of them have a great base knowledge of drugs and exactly what they do to the person. 

 The same is true for the family, they have the same knowledge about drugs.  They did the same thing and heard the same talks.  The missing information is the truth and how to combat the problem.  The truth is, drugs are fun in the beginning and people get great rewards from their friends for doing them.  They become “Cool” and that might be new to them.  They become “the person” in the know and that might be new to them.  Status is important.

 No one did anything wrong.  No one could have prevented the problem no matter what.  No one that I’ve ever met wanted to end up at the end of the road laying in a heap with all the problems they are facing.  Not one person chose to be there.  The same is true for the people that are around them.  Not one person I knew chose to be there.  They didn’t have that on their life map.  Their life map didn’t have the person they love tangled up in drugs or alcohol and have their life potentially ruined.

 Parents, loved ones, Grandparents, significant others, all of them even with vast knowledge of drugs or alcohol can’t stop the problem.  Their family or friends run the same risks as everyone else.  It isn’t a problem with simple answers or a problem with complicated answers.  It is a problem that can only be faced with truth.  It is a problem that can only be fought with something that fights it with resources that work on the same areas of the person that drugs work on.

 Education, prevention and the other tools that are being used try to fight the problem on one front are limited.  They’ll pull some great facts in front of people.  They have some great stories to share.  They might have a famous face to bring in front of people and tell their personal story.  They might have a great display of books that are currently available and parade that out.  Those tools work because they make the people involved on both sides feel better but they don’t do anything to stem the flow.

 All the people involved seem to hear is lots of people yelling at them.  Being yelled at, ridiculed, belittled and avoided is not fun.  This mis-hearing only provides them with another reason to keep moving along the road they’re already on.  In their world, the world they’ve created, they don’t have that going on.  Control is theirs and they want that control, it gives them a sense of safety.   

 
 Stopping is something they may have tried.  Given time everyone needs to slow down at some point.  Switching and maneuvering around the drug lifestyle is always going on.  Controlling their using is something they may have tried.  Staying stopped is what is needed and for people caught in the trap that is a scary thought.  Giving up forever the thing that gave them power is not okay. 

 Some family members might even be stepping into the trap of using.  They may be playing with avoiding feelings and the best way to avoid feelings is to use something.  Family members sometimes become so frustrated that they toss up their hands and stop fighting the problem and join in.  They are frustrated with the feelings that are laying around everywhere, that they give up.  Feelings lie.  Feelings don’t have a basis in reality.  All feelings are something that are based on something perceived and in chaos perception is always wrong.  Feelings lie.

 Everyone who wants to break out and return to some form of normalcy needs to embrace truth.  Putting a stop to the cycle they find themselves in needs the truth.  The enemy of chaos is truth.  No longer allowing the perpetuating drone of chaos, truth has to come into the picture.  With truth as a weapon the cycle can be slowed and stopped.  No longer accepting the situation to continue will slow the cycle.

 Picking battles that will stop the cycle is what is needed.  No longer allowing behavior that keeps the cycle moving is what is needed.  So many families get caught for periods of time fighting over things that don’t matter. 

 No one would pull a beautiful flower from a pot, shake off the dirt and then expect it to keep growing.  No one would even expect that flower to flourish unless it was nourished to keep it growing.  But would that same family take the flower out of the pot, shake off the dirt and replant it in the same soil, same pot and in the same conditions that had it caused it to wither in the first place?  Nope.

 Some families do that though.  They do it out of ignorance.  They do it out of not understanding just what the problem was in the first place.  Good education only gives the person information.  Applying that information and then moving forward with that information is vital.  But know that not all information is good.

 Great people knew Columbus was going to sail off the end of the world.  Great people knew that the Wright brothers would crash.  Great people knew that everyone would explode when they rode trains going over fifty miles an hour.  Great people knew that everyone breaking the sound barrier for the first time would die.

 Great people have information based on false knowledge.  That’s why its important to spend time with people who have successfully broken out of the cycle of chaos and are now thriving.  It’s vital to spend time with people who have broken away from that cycle for a period of time and whose lives are again flourishing.  Two weeks clean and sober is great and a milestone that should be celebrated.  Two years is a miracle and needs to be shouted from the mountain top.  Ten years of life with success shows a win.  Winning is where it’s at, stopping the cycle for good with out it repeating is imperative. 

 Programs need to be implemented where kids get to be kids.  They get to be who they are, not who the people running the program want them to be.  They get to be themselves.  They can go talk with someone who wont be judging them because of the problems, situations or circumstances they are in. 

 Kids need to have fun, kids need to explore their world and make the choices they make without paying the price of judgment.  We all did the same thing and we all needed the same experiences.  Today the market gives the kids more information that is truly negative.  The kids aren’t smarter today they just have more knowledge than before.  They have multiple channels challenging them.  They have DVD’s, playstation’s, cd’s and much more telling them to do things that are horrific.  We didn’t have as much but we still had lots of things pushing us to do negative things.  We made it through but barely.  Today’s kids need a way to explore all areas of themselves without drugs shutting them down.  Kids need a way to explore themselves with positive input rather than choosing to do it with negative input. 

 My goal is simple... get people to stop using drugs and alcohol.  Get them to not look back until a decision can be made based in reality again.