December

Now that the packages of red and green M & M’s have arrived in the supermarket candy aisle, we can rest assured that the holiday season is truly upon us! Commercially, this time of year is the biggest for specialty foods and goodies, from fruitcake to candy canes and more often than not, “festive” food is synonymous with “booze-laden.”  Brandy soaked cakes and plum puddings, mulled wine, and spiked chocolates are just a few of the places that alcohol will be lurking in the next few weeks.  A whirlwind of holiday office parties, cocktail get-togethers, and family reunions with rum eggnog will be challenging our sobriety with gusto! How do we avoid a white-knuckle Christmas when the odds are so strongly stacked against us?

Ironically, statistics show that a large number of alcoholics and addicts choose to enter treatment during this time of year and I can attest that I have known many (my own sobriety date is December 5th.) Why? I can say for myself that I was facing the busiest time of year for catering and knew, in a rare sober thinking moment, that without the energy and stamina I needed, it would be impossible to fulfill my commitments.  Others have said that the holidays are really for lightweight drinkers anyway, so it may as well be now rather than later!  And still others feel the enormous weight of depression closing in on them (so prevalent at this time of year), and instinctively sense the ominous foreboding of yet another emotional and anxiety-filled holiday, one which this time, they may not overcome.  Whatever the reason and wherever the message comes from, the newly sober have a formidable task ahead this month.  But, there are a number of things we can all do to make it easier on ourselves and ensure our success.  Here are a few tips for the holidays that will help keep you safe and sober:

* First and foremost, if you are invited to a holiday party or gathering where booze is a big component and you know you will feel uncomfortable, simply don’t go.  There will be many more holidays (thanks to your courageous decision to get clean and sober) for you to enjoy in the future.  Stay home with the kids and bake some Christmas cookies instead.

            * Before you eat or drink anything at a party, make sure you know what’s in it. 

            Don’t be afraid to ask – it’s not impolite – it’s imperative.  If you’re not sure or can’t get a straight answer, then skip it and reach for something more familiar.            Remember that small ingested amounts of alcohol, although incapable of making  us drunk, could spark some unwanted neurochemical recognition that, under      stressful conditions, could contribute to craving.

            * At seated dinners, turning over your wine glass is a signal to the waitress that   you will not be imbibing.  At parties with open bar, get a non-alcoholic drink as soon as you enter and hang on to it. If you’re uncomfortable saying why you are not drinking, simply make a joke or explain you are refraining for medical reasons (which is true.)  Personally, I think it is always best to be up front – and there is no time better than the present to claim your new sobriety with pride and conviction.  It says who you are and in the end, the people who matter will respect you for it.

            * Always eat before you go out to a function, even if food will be served.  Empty stomachs have a way of convincing us that what we are really hungry for is a drink!  The symptoms of craving and low blood sugar (due to not eating) are almost identical – nausea, irritability, sweating, and lightheadedness.  Keep some healthy snacks in the car in case you need them and drink plenty of water, to avoid dehydration which can also create craving-like symptoms.

            * Always have an escape plan.  This is, of course, nothing new but when holiday parties and get-togethers are being organized, especially among friends, there is a tendency to pile everyone together – the “more the merrier” attitude – more so than on other occasions, so if things start to get a bit hairy for you, have a plan B for getting home.  Sometimes, however, a total escape is not necessary.  A little respite in some fresh air can sometimes do wonders to clear our minds.  Go outside, take a few deep breaths, walk around a bit, call someone on your cell   phone, and tell yourself that “this too shall pass,” because the truth is, it always does!

            * When you’ve made it through a stressful evening, reward yourself!  Whatever  it is that comforts you, whether it be a hot bubble bath, watching your favorite movie for the umpteenth time, or devouring a bag of those red and green M &  M’s, go for it.  Be gentle and kind to yourself because you truly deserve it.

Here’s to a happy, safe, and sober holiday season!  And I look forward to speaking with you all again in the New Year.  Stay well my friends.

All the best,